Coping with Mother-in-law

My mother-in-law stays with us and sometimes it is very trying! Just this morning, at 5 am , she told me she had severe pain in her back and that she cannot move her neck. Her facial expression was full of anguish and she kept saying how excruciating her pain was. She said she has not slept all night because of her pain. I volunteered to wake my husband up to see to her (he is an orthopaedic surgeon). But she told me to wait till he woke up on his own.

As soon as the alarm went off and my husband stirred, I told him about his mother. Immediately after he saw her, he knew the pain was due to her old problem of backache which was a result of normal wear and tear. He told her that but she did not believe him at first and insisted that he examine her. I told my husband to oblige her because I knew she needed the human touch and some compassion. So he touched the bones on her back and gave her the same diagnosis. He also told her to take the pain-killer which he had supplied her. Amazingly, she coped with her pain much better even before she took any pain-kiiler!!!

Later, I asked my husband if her pain was severe. He said that it should not be very severe. With this knowledge, I can feel more at peace if I do not give too much attention to her backache and if I do not believe her when she says that she is dying due to the pain.

Actually I am less alarmed this time around because of a previous episode when I had to send her to the emergency room of a hospital because she told me she could not breathe and that she was very sick. After a whole battery of tests, she was diagnosed with lung infection and sent home with antibiotics. The amazing thing is that even before my mother-in-law took any of the antibiotics, she was perfectly well again and she was breathing normally again! I have learnt to take what she says with a pinch of salt.

As I think through this, I think that people like my mother-in-law are probably very insecure and sometimes they have to feign sickness or exaggerate their pain so as to get the attention they need and to feel that others care about them. My prayer is that God will fill me with His unconditional love for my mother-in-law and to show love and concern often enough that she does not need to feign any sickness to get attention. My human nature wants to turn away and let her be and not be fooled by her pretences. But I must allow God to touch her with His love through my acts of kindness towards her. God must increase and I must decrease!